Gnawing Tendencies: Rewiring this Motherboard

Gosh, you're cute.
So cute and so smart.
It's all a rush and I need to keep my head on.
I am and mostly, I am.
Here and not there.
Present and not absent.
Learning to fight addictive and gnawing tendencies,
seeing you or any other as just another.
Not inhuman, not a fantasy, not some rescuing force.
A human with weaknesses and flaws
none ever capable of filling in for me.
The space I'm learning to hold, must hold.
For me and myself and me and a bit for you.
My hand tremors to and fro,
as unsure and resounding as my tenderest heart.
Soft and fierce and soft and sometimes fierce,
back and forth, guessing the validity of asserting oneself.
Standing this ground,
strong and transparent.
Ever so soft and fierce. That's me, that's now.
Final conclusions can almost never be reached.
Merely you get insights into tendencies,
snippets and bits of who we project ourselves to be.
But damn it, you're cute anyway.
I like you and could maybe one day love you.
But for now, I'm sitting and stewing in this
sensation and putting stop to undue fantasy.
Learning healthy habits and brain waves,
while getting to know all of you.
Each and every adorable damn one of you.
My dials are set, the path is clear
gearing up as I get nearer and nearer.
Further from before and the past.
Here upon the present and foreseeable more.
The irresistible shall be resisted,
tempering these cravings with collages and books
and orange eyeball throws. My comforter has that design.
Resist and persist and re-wire this motherboard.
You. I see you. I see you and want you and see you all the more.
Breathing and breathing and seeing it through.
Cute person, cute person, let's just take it kinda slow.