The Zombies are Coming, the Zombies are Coming!

My brain. MY brain. It strains to regain what once I could claim. Sanity and peace and non-existent thoughts. I have been derailed and what’s more, I did it of my own accord. I DIDN’t choose it, per say, but it chose to let me choose it. It makes as much sense as it should. So here I am again, back to myself. It seems I hadn’t ventured very far and yet I can feel the distance. And closeness. To you. The nearness and newness of you. For do I not feel weakness and fear? Indeed, it is there as it always has been and will be. Necessary like wrenches and foreign like spreads of chocolate. Here I am…naked and exposed to the world. I own it as I know it to be. The truth. MY truth. The only kind I could speak or hope could transpire. And I find myself to not be afraid of that, this truth, because I stare it down eye-to-eye and make it my own. No matter the challenge or outcome or loss. Cause I can lose you, but cannot lose me. This wonderful person I’ve found. Myself. As I always knew I could be. You elevate me to see the coolest and realest version I could ever aspire to be. So you’ll stay as you and I’ll stay as me, and the rest….well, we shall see.

The Wind....blows.

I am numbed. Somehow I’m not quite as I’d imagined myself to be. I am a diluted version of the greatness and hysteria that resides within. Within I am without. On and on the road does go, but somewhere along the line I had to stop running. The breath could no longer be harnessed within these overexerted lungs. These words no longer hold sway and I know not where it is I should lay. In my own arms I am alive and well. Funny how I once thought I knew you so very, very well. Indeed, I do. But, then again, I never did and your silence bites at me like frost. This heart burns as much from tomatoes as it does from the distance between. And the hardest part is knowing that you are doing all you can do and nothing you could not. Only have I the power to adjust the sails I call my own. The wind blows and blows and blows us away from where we once felt so strong. I believed it and knew it and felt it deep in my every bone and very being. That it was you. Just you. For now it is me. Just me. As it always should have been. As I dedicate myself to whatever will be, I can only hope that you leave a piece of you…for me.