Just now
the terror and anger
ever so slightly masks
the hurt and disbelief.
The reminder of tenderness
and deepest longings for connection.
Willingness to be open comes so easily
but I can now especially quantify why others don't-
it's for moments like this
when you realize you're naked and exposed
in ways you can't hope to control.
Flailing around in my mind
but implementing comforting habits
that so often serve me well.
And in this I sense myself closing up,
gathering myself close to myself.
Experimenting with manifestations of powerful-ness
in this body, this spirit, in this moment-in-time, especially.
And in that I find hope and promise
that indeed, I'm not embodying insanity
as I often have
Felt exposed and forgotten and continued
to open up.
Sometimes a hard or even soft stop reveals itself
and now I can see it's an invitation
to stand in my ground
as rubber hits the real and proverbial road.
I know where I am, where I'll continue to be.
Right here
holding tightly onto this
lovely me.
