Saturday, January 12, 2013

Bones, Stays, and Outs


It shatters.
It shakes.
Oh how it quakes with heart-aches.
Sometimes it loves so very hard
…between the times it not be in tattered shards.
I do it to me as they did it to me.
I break myself all the more
…to prove that no one could ever love them more.
And who care takes for me…me…the one and the only ME?
Indeed, it can only be ME.
And now THIS time, when I look all I see is me.
Next to he…the fella person with whom I choose to be.
He is now.
He is ever the better than I could never have endeavored.
This reality is laughable for it not be so real.
So very everything I needed to not want.
But I want the very all of it.
The beauty of this gift, ayyy me!
Is this LOVE? Love, love, love, love…?
That I’m feelin’?
Cause I feel it all….feel it all…feel it all.
And I feel it in the bones of my being.
Perhaps I won’t be the one to break this own heart.
Because now, you see, I build me.
And here he be, building right along with me
I build me UP UP up…and away.
… where eagles fly on that mountain high.
I belong.
In the place that is this.
The place that is now.
Holy motha fuckin’ wow.
So “let’s do it,” she says.
“And then we can do THIS,” he says.
FINE.
Fine is he. Fine as the sweetest wine. All the time.
Fine is his heart.
For only could his harness the beast of mine.
This time….
I have given no out. Refused the possible outs.
Here I’ll stay.
Up until the very day
That he can’t and he won’t and he’ll refuse
…the recklessness of this soul.
And then on and on and on I’ll go.
Until then.
This time.
I stay.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Savage, I Am

How could I not have seen it?
Never dreamed I could yet again be IT.
You with me and me with you.
Never again had I imagined I would pursue.

Because if my history spoke of much…
It was that relationships packed a soul shattering punch.
I allowed myself to lose me and never did they choose to see….
How incredibly detrimental their actions and false words could be.

As I rose from the ashes time and again…
I found it was only I who would be my tried and true friend.
Partnerships never were they ever.
This heart and soul repeatedly did I allow them to sever.

And yet, here you are, beautifully real and raw…
Challenging all the hurt that my past ever saw.
Holding my hand as you discover how to hold my heart,
I wish it could have been YOU to love me from the very start.

But a lesson is a lesson no matter the damage…
And I refuse to believe myself some love-incapable savage.
Each day you teach the ways of faith and truly being together.
Contented am I here and now…maybe, just maybe...even for forever.