I find it nearly impossible to fathom or recreate the actions which provided the platform on which red flags were ignored and rationality was cast aside. While there are far too many breakdowns and breakups (minus one) as of late, I am learning and growing and still, cursing myself all the while. It was the best {correction: far from it} AND the worst. Maybe it needed to happen. Trauma always did compel me like no other. A taste of recklessness and spontaneity energizes my heart and soul, though the body likely won't follow suite. I am change. I am love. I am wonder. I am stupid. BUT....BUT, who isn't? I am a seeker and problem solver and maniac...for your love.
If anything, I hope to avoid the tentative sickness....though there is no better way to familiarize myself with market offerings. Ladies, I'm taking one for the team. UPDATE: I didn't even get sick. Lame.
My diluted and misguided self-concept shall by my ultimate downfall. Trust me, I won't take it LYING down....you wish. That's the last (almost) action in which I wish to currently partake. Not to fret...I'm still me, you're still you. It may never happen, but my dreams can be wild and dangerous and forbidden....just like us. Yeah....us. Yikes. You all see me.....and I you, but you see what I cannot up until now. I AM what is reflected in your eyes and on your humbling platform. I mean this to all of you because there is so much love...the honest kind that warms your life and brightens your day. Thank you, thank you. I am redundant...and you....YOU are my salvation. These social bonds are the stuff of legend and lore, a seemingly reputable source told me so. This I know. Fold the book and lock away the hatred.
Holy shit. I can ramble and you can read and listen OR not. I am starting to see it for the strength it is. Quiet? Never. I am Alejandra and Chatty Cathy and Punky Brewster and Drew Barrymore and a conglomeration of filthy gorgeous. Take me or leave me, but FYI....I will love you until my dying day. Ha, scared yet? Don't be. I'm the real deal.
Messy, beautiful, and full of wonder.
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