This Way

GP,

I took this photo in the very moment I realized that where I was is exactly where I wanted to be. Laying in the brittle and brazen grass beyond the house that built me. With all the perceived flaws and anxious moments and uncertain directions. Because the beauty in the breakdown is as beautiful as I. This truth is my truth and the only truth I ever need to know. My truth lies in the many quests on which I've embarked....of connection, of peace, and of tackling fears. Fears like I've never known, Grandpa. Fears that I never thought I'd ever ever find the strength to chase down. And still do I have so many to go. Your lessons shake the very ground that I like to pretend is solid. But really nothing is ever solid. Nothing ever fixed or promised. Except me. Because I find that I am fixed by the challenge of embracing life for all it offers. To me. All I offer to me. I am what I am as I am. "Not easy to forget," at 5. "A quick study," at 6. "A punk," at 8. And on and on do I exist. And with me....you. 

To many more lessons to come.

XOXO,

Alex

P.S. The weather here today was 51 degrees and dreary and rainy. Today was my last day of NOT eating meat. I ate a 7-layer burrito and 1.5 doughnuts. Tomorrow I will induce food sickness with copious amounts of carnivorous indulgence. It will likely include waffle fries.