Away

She moved, she moved
she fucking moved.
Away.
I remember the day she told me,
had put it off because she imagined I'd be upset.
Maybe yes, I am.
Because you left, always knew she wasn't destined to stay.
When you run and run and run away
from unpleasantries, things that don't rub you the right way.

In the middle here I see it rather crystal clear.
You had to go and he forever aimed to stay.
In the middle is where I shall stay.
Aware of that future I always dream and hoped for
and the reality I've been lucky to settle into.
There is more I could do,
make more money and help get her better.
The help it costs money, you see.
The power to arrange a life that feels best and right
heals her spirit and anxious soul, too.

But we're in that middle place.
Neither hell nor peace.
Without you in it, we survive any how.
And where are you?
Alive and well? Dying and compelled to hell?
I'm only as mad as this sentence is long.
Mostly I hope for better days and not feeling an arrow
when I hear your name.
Stuck in my chest and drops of dew upon my skin.
You're with me until my very end.
Not a day goes by I don't imagine you real and here,
even there and away.
Either way, as long as you're alive.

In my dream of dreams you'll return.
Back into this world,
healed and transformed.
Lessened of the anger that drove you so mad,
caused you to hear terrible and awful things.
But for now I'm just sometimes angry and sometimes grieved.
That you're there and not here,
out of reach.
Beyond the sanity and light and reach.
Be there as you are, we'll stay right here.