I've learned to see myself and my heart and what it's about.
Holding the shards of it in my hand,
I am protective.
Misery and joy exist side-by-side
It's nothing to run from or cover up.
Let it breathe, read what the signposts speak of.
I hear myself more clearly than ever before.
Not really afraid or ashamed,
I now speak kind words to myself and reaffirm the process.
I've been called brave and strong and resilient
and I'm starting to see it, believe it.
Courage isn't the absence of fear, but the ability to walk with it.
It's true, it's true.
Call me Joan of Arc or even Wonder Woman. Some gosh dang white woman.
Beyonce. Audre Lorde. Rumi. Nelson Mandela. Dozens of other fighters.
Lucky to know their stories, their experiences with overcoming
and finding again, glory.
Those I admire most are the ones who are raw and honest
and sit through the muck and the mire.
Without defensive moves, but rather transparency and reflection.
Aim to become those you admire most.
I'm trying. I'm trying.
The emotional overwhelm won't kill you,
it only feels like it does.
Strips out the unsavory bits and holds them up on display.
Call it what you will
it hurts and it burns and it rips through you.
For me, it's new to not judge myself when I've crumbled on the floor.
but now, with a few self-assured kindnesses and no judgments,
I stand back up nearly as quickly as I went down.
It makes me feel strong as hell.
Females are, you know.
A woman scorned, it's true.
Heaven help you, the day I tap into the strength I posses
I'm coming for you, world. One day and tear-filled moment at a time.
These god damn demons are becoming familiar friends,
nothing to fear or shame or spit upon.
I see it all more clearly, I'm riding the waves and battling the forces.
Call me Buffy, Hermoine, a morning glory.
A beautifully scarred and raging warrior.
My weapons aren't what you think they might be,
they're boundaries and reflection and demanding better for me.
Also, a bit of sass and anger. Just the right amount.
I like me, god damn it.
Thanks for those lessons, departed lover.
I'm fighting and ripping through the barriers, without you.
Call me resilient and strong and not giving a damn or a fuck.
It is as it is. Was what it was.
This path isn't for the mild or meek
I've got this arsenal, this squad of friends and fellow seeking compatriots
they've got my back, give me direction and support.
I stand so strong.
Hell fuckin' yeah.
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