It's Ok, It's Alright.

All this potential and discomfort, 

rolling around in my gut. Stuck to my bones.

Breathing through newly exhibited sensations

of anxiety.

I almost forgot what it felt like,

how it can settle into your being.

Make you stick to the bed like glue.

This Lexapro doesn't round out the edges 

quite like it used to. Nor like the last medication.

I'm feeling more, good or not.

Feeling the heaviness and fear in body,

but more in my brain. Stuck, feeling stuck.

It's a superpower to harness, I've told myself that many times.

Yet, in these moments it doesn't feel like a power,

I feel weakened and immobilized.

Rather, the superpower is learning to work on through it.

This anxiety, damned down to the depths of me.

What IS new is that I'm not defaulting to black and white,

my brain stays in a place of holding the gray.

Harnessing the tools I've built up and grown to hold dear.

I'm learning to glide through it, 

acknowledge the unease and sooth it in my soul.

You're ok, you're alright.

We've got this in tow. 

Even as I feel incompetent and worried that I'll be left with nothing.

It's ok, it's alright.

Right here, right now.

Working and working and hemming and hawing.

Nothing is an emergency, nor on fire.

The flames in my brain are alright, for now.

I aim to burn down that which holds me back,

sensations that attempt to convey I'm unworthy 

of existence or love and leisure.

Anxiety is a liar, I see that now.

Depression, too. Both of you are fucking liars.

It's alright, it's ok.

This day, the next. 

Working to be the best,

bestest version of me. Alexandr-ia.

She's lovely and great and struggling, still.

And it's alright, it's ok.

This day and any day.

Source: https://society6.com/product/anxiety617675_print