Yes, and. I love you.

I get fixated and fascinated with the loving.
The love in life. Seeking it and feeding it and needing it.
When you sense deficiencies it drives you to seek all the more,
demand it, incensed at the loss of it.
But when it encloses you, surrounds you in droves,
other aims reveal themselves.
The sky opens up and you see the great beyond.
Beyond, beyond it.
It's odd and foreign that I don't feel nearly so grasping,
so desperate, so scared.
Even the scary parts feel freeing.
Beyond that great divide, between myself and me.
This heart and mine. This heart, mine.
Even in such a short time,
to sense growth and stretches of understanding.

Just today I was thinking of future aims,
debt repayments and timed arrivals and Mama.
I can't help but consider you and this.
But even so, I'd be remiss to not think of myself.
Where do I envision going?
With or without you.
Where to travel and venture and explore confusing matters.
Aye, so this is love. Cinderella told me long ago.
Maybe that was some floundering and ill advised manner,
but this version feels just right.
Warms up the coldest bits and softens the toughest truths
that once I thought I knew.
A foundation to build something strong and steady upon.
This world feels so fresh and now so new.
And it's no pressure, no pressure at all.
Because even though you're a bright guiding star,
I aim and speak that I shall not possess you, not neglect you.
But mostly, I'm learning to not neglect myself,
to hold love for you and for me all together.
Do you feel your footing, too?

The yes, and. The ultimate yes, and.
Yes and, would you have lunch with me tomorrow?
And maybe other days after that.
Yes and this is thrilling and make believing and
no, I'm not dreaming.
You're real, you're real. I'm really here.
Yes and until it's no longer what we feel
that there is so much love and longing
and endearment and rapture and grounding and realness
and my heart. My heart.
Yes and, this breathing, this life.
Yes and, a start.