"Because it's one of the only things I'm good at."
"Nonsense, why do you say that?"
Haters might hate but I hate more. Hate that I hate that I hate...that I don't even hate. Perhaps I only despise that which I think I can no longer control....have never controlled.....shan't control. A free bird...free as a bird I dream to be. The free spirit you've always seen me to be. Wished I could see.
Like that song about talking about me. Just me....sub in worries and more thoughts and fears, still. Round and round and soon to crack an axle. Breaking the pedestal I've constructed. In you I find I must reject it. All of it, in fact. Different definitely isn't equal but neither is deprecation of self (eM). Thank you for all that YOU are.
Each eleven of the twelve I shall tackle like never ever before. Flag football hardly polished the rudders and so here I find myself: exploring new territories, setting abstract goals, excited at the prospect of change. The change I never had to consciously contemplate before now. For it is this lack which has corrupted the potential and the present. Right now...with you...it is as sure as the sun. But me, in the orange chair, without a clue....as comforting as it is crippling. Tally heave and ho.
I feel the hum in ears and head, even if only for a minute or five. Starting so very small with room for sitar lessons. No, actually the harmonica. "And life flows on within you and without you....."
With or without what I need I shall proceed. Into the farce.
I am an INFJ. This is no surprise to me. And I think you should learn BOTH the sitar and the harmonica. :)
ReplyDeleteAHHA, I should learn the sitar. I think I need to learn to read notes first or at least tabs. I used to think I was an INFJ...but that was a lie. I am an ENFJ all the way.
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