Here

Tunes loudly in my ears.
I recenter the keyboard on my lap,
close my eyes
and breath deeply.
Look up and down my arms,
realizing I'm in this moment.
Ready to unwind and unleash
thoughts and musing and dreams
upon this medium, these keys.
Lady Gaga and laundry and Lara Croft.
I'm not in love with Judas, baaaby.
Not any more.
All the tension and fear I drug to and fro
has all but dissipated.
You've done so good,
done so good.
you've done it.
I splay my arms open,
acknowledging the immense relief.
Remember this. This space and sensation.
The breathing is not labored or calculated,
it just flows in and out. Out and in. In and out.
Wild hair, wild heart.
She's always here, always been here.
You can do this, Alex. You can do this.
You're doing this.
You've done so good.
Power mix, inspirational jams.
Who cares if this reads well or makes sense,
I'm alive.
I'm alive
after all.
Here. Just here. Thank goodness.
I'm here.