At 10:59, but not 11

Capable am I. Of bravery. Of courage. Of admitting flaw while acknowledging strength.
The strength to know I am heavy. So heavy in your arms. This love and these concrete feet are my own.

MY own. To have and to hold. Forever and ever.
Because life will flow on and on, with or without me AND I choose life.

I've begun a breakdown....of everything that ever scared me, challenged me, and taught me. About ME.
About what it means to know peace. To know trust in myself. 

To know that I will forever be marked by all that is you. YOU. Beautiful, you.
To know that lying by your side is such a heavenly way to lie.

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SESSION 1

Recognition: I am invisible here. I am infuriated here. Ready to scream all manner of hurt and confusion. Here. Here. For years and years upon years. Avoiding confrontation is futile. This is my life. My maker. My undertaking. It's not my home, it's their home and I'm welcome no more. 

Takes me and breaks me as it wakes me. 

Wakes me.

wakes. me.

But not until after 11. 

Cause that's my new rule.