Celery MonstA??? Probably never.

The preferred mode of existence requires far less analysis and oh-so-much more care-free indulgence. Is the way shut? Difficult to gather. AND what of this alleged potential? Thank you for the kind words and longing glances. Thank you and this place…though not this time. The fear is nearly all due to ill-matched timing. AND oh…the potential. Almost sickening….transformative….Peter Pan-ish. Out loud. I want to exist out loud. Well…no. Definitely here. Now….but not….corrupted. The taste buds and understandings have been radically corrupted in a direction that presents as confusion [“I got a feeling that I’m doing what’s right”]. Yes, the time WILL speak of much and likely nothing at all unless my analysis skills improve greatly. My brain. My brain. The bells. The bellsssssss. SUGAR. The death of an addiction….going nowhere fast. Without the necessary funds, I discover myself starring at the vending machine wishing a miracle. Fudge. HAaaaaa….or cookies. A worthy challenge, no doubt. Along with prior topics is one of the most brilliantly troubling ventures. How these damn bells do ring. Come back….come back. Oh, ok [kudos to the cutest kid and cuddling buddy in existence]. XOX XX (FOR YOU….you know)

Bloggety blog BLOG

A bed. A seemingly simplistic assembling of linens...becomes something of severe complexity and joy. That, my darlings, is MY desired source of escapism. Netted in this golden solitude the past few days present themselves as that much more….bittersweet? Unreal? Incredible. Oh yes. Perhaps I should safeguard such sentiments but this IS it. The world and myself in it. My reality. Luckily, you are playing a part. A brilliant part. Much gratitude shall continue to be directed to you and the….cosmos? So many sweet treasures. The kind I can’t even hope to fully capture on film or with words. THAT inexplicable. DANG? Most definitely. Professional-ish advancement is likely within reach. Some attempted progress but not enough. Why? Because I am am AM a self-encouraging asshole. The only way to be? I know not. Oh, make it something solid and stable and exciting AND applicable. I never claimed to be anything other than picky and dramatics. Standards guide an otherwise unguided pursuit. On and on and on and on…..and….ON. New INKS……a bed. AH haaaaaa....

Part-time Lover. Full-time Friend. Me.

Walking around with hands wide open, I know myself to be suseptable to the elements. Embracing this life is all I can live for or hope to achieve. Experiences….I welcome them. I welcome you. Acknowledgment of fear is the first part of this process. I do so willingly, but with a mere dash of reluctance because coming face-to-face with your vulnerability provokes a confusing frustration. AHOY. It is wonderful, I’m telling you. Try it. Try me. Take a chance. I am. Regret? In a way, but in the same way…never ever EVER. I refuse to accept a repeat from the cliffs of Greece. Challenges I embrace, changes I demand, risks do I take. From the stage of yesterday I welcome today and that which I can never predict. The truth is, I meant what I said. You all know who you are if you allow it to be so....I will cherish you the remainder of my existence. Truly. Madly. Deeply. Uh huh.

Find your inspiration.

OH, and soooo many kisses.

Around and around and around and AROUNDDDDDD

Expression. Ah....to express a feeling, a thought, a landmark...fears....excitement....abstract assertions. For the moment writing seems almost contrived. The flow appears disrupted BUT is necessary. Entirely. So many, many, many, maaannnnyyyyyy what ifs and revelations and then….nothing. The simplicity and ease expose themselves as scary…alarmingly frightening, YET something I can’t quite express….I think something like exciting and inspiring (!!!). Even the attempted descriptions fall short of comprehendible comprehension, to me OR to any of you [apologies]. The hair is a strain of softness, appetite raging on and ON [3 am ISH], motivation budding. And that fear. Those damn fears. They always present themselves in the most surprising circumstances. Sting rays? Sure. You…and this? Certainly. You AND sting rays? Oh hell. It took some time for me to see. Late blooming, niave gestures….delayed understandings perhaps. And now? Ain’t nothin’ gonna break ma stride. Minus me mo MY. As always, the toughest critic known to Em. But oh, how the ch Ch CHanges do….well, change this status quo. My life, my heart, this moment and that. Brilliant, really. This security acts as a reassuring type of new comfort. Game ON….but then again, fuck games. The reality is oh so much better….and….real. You’ve got the light and me....I’ve got the key.

Love and thoughts to Japan.

I sip my Koolaid

ALL I never knew or dreamed or comprehended possible….that’s what this is. Standards have been altered, changes embraced….connections forged. Oh….AMazing, like I can’t explain….AND I’ve been told I have a poetic and magical “way” with words. That way is currently null and likely void. Entirely enough peace, brimming with back-burner insanity. I wish this upon everyone…AND everyone else, too. Understood and appreciated. Indeed. Perhaps rocks don’t hold their intended power, BUT this freedom does….as does every experience gathered and cherished. Labeling seems far too constricting for such EPIC proportions. Yet, the fear is ever present in daily operations and interactions. Za-Za-Zazen!!!

Short/Sweet....Profound....

Thorough appreciation of this understanding, these observations…this very journey. Clarity and calmness are alarming….how can this be? Refreshing. Entirely. Enjoying the chemistry of train passengers…perhaps a reflection of future initiations. No touching needed, the attraction is undeniable. Soooo cute…..HAHA, what am I in THIS moment? Something exciting. Something much less cynical. A mere connection, a chance encounter…SO enthralled. Heart of mine, oh heart of mine. The mending is now, the memories present still. THIS is the light of knowing I have all I will ever need, with potential for wondrous, revelatory glory. Fuck….everything is an inspiration. Living. Living. LOVING.

In the Wild, Wild West

Explanation escapes to the deepest thresholds conceivable…though it is neither desired nor necessary. Believe it. Perhaps it was inspired by tea and productivity OR the consistent correspondence and post-shower clarity. THIS is is IS my desired locale. Now and always. Turquoise from within. Breathing. This thought. This breathe. This inspiration. Here I lie, intact and thriving. Sweet darlin’….nothingness and yet, anticipation and excitement in the unknown capacities. Save me? I JUST did. Again and again. Strumming my pain….where is it? The memories. AH, of yesterday, today, and likely tomorrow. Just starting out in an epic and encouraging journey of discovery. You aren’t all of it, but you are it. I hate to love the concentration. Oh, goofy great loveliness. That’s your gift to me. Few expectations….so many hopes and thoughts…..contentment in the experience of it, ALL of it. Here I am. There you are. Mystic. Sade presents perspective many can only hope for. Going…going….to a place where love is like breathing. Be that easy. It is, I promise you. To whatever may come…cherish the day.