Celery MonstA??? Probably never.

The preferred mode of existence requires far less analysis and oh-so-much more care-free indulgence. Is the way shut? Difficult to gather. AND what of this alleged potential? Thank you for the kind words and longing glances. Thank you and this place…though not this time. The fear is nearly all due to ill-matched timing. AND oh…the potential. Almost sickening….transformative….Peter Pan-ish. Out loud. I want to exist out loud. Well…no. Definitely here. Now….but not….corrupted. The taste buds and understandings have been radically corrupted in a direction that presents as confusion [“I got a feeling that I’m doing what’s right”]. Yes, the time WILL speak of much and likely nothing at all unless my analysis skills improve greatly. My brain. My brain. The bells. The bellsssssss. SUGAR. The death of an addiction….going nowhere fast. Without the necessary funds, I discover myself starring at the vending machine wishing a miracle. Fudge. HAaaaaa….or cookies. A worthy challenge, no doubt. Along with prior topics is one of the most brilliantly troubling ventures. How these damn bells do ring. Come back….come back. Oh, ok [kudos to the cutest kid and cuddling buddy in existence]. XOX XX (FOR YOU….you know)

Bloggety blog BLOG

A bed. A seemingly simplistic assembling of linens...becomes something of severe complexity and joy. That, my darlings, is MY desired source of escapism. Netted in this golden solitude the past few days present themselves as that much more….bittersweet? Unreal? Incredible. Oh yes. Perhaps I should safeguard such sentiments but this IS it. The world and myself in it. My reality. Luckily, you are playing a part. A brilliant part. Much gratitude shall continue to be directed to you and the….cosmos? So many sweet treasures. The kind I can’t even hope to fully capture on film or with words. THAT inexplicable. DANG? Most definitely. Professional-ish advancement is likely within reach. Some attempted progress but not enough. Why? Because I am am AM a self-encouraging asshole. The only way to be? I know not. Oh, make it something solid and stable and exciting AND applicable. I never claimed to be anything other than picky and dramatics. Standards guide an otherwise unguided pursuit. On and on and on and on…..and….ON. New INKS……a bed. AH haaaaaa....

Part-time Lover. Full-time Friend. Me.

Walking around with hands wide open, I know myself to be suseptable to the elements. Embracing this life is all I can live for or hope to achieve. Experiences….I welcome them. I welcome you. Acknowledgment of fear is the first part of this process. I do so willingly, but with a mere dash of reluctance because coming face-to-face with your vulnerability provokes a confusing frustration. AHOY. It is wonderful, I’m telling you. Try it. Try me. Take a chance. I am. Regret? In a way, but in the same way…never ever EVER. I refuse to accept a repeat from the cliffs of Greece. Challenges I embrace, changes I demand, risks do I take. From the stage of yesterday I welcome today and that which I can never predict. The truth is, I meant what I said. You all know who you are if you allow it to be so....I will cherish you the remainder of my existence. Truly. Madly. Deeply. Uh huh.

Find your inspiration.

OH, and soooo many kisses.

Around and around and around and AROUNDDDDDD

Expression. Ah....to express a feeling, a thought, a landmark...fears....excitement....abstract assertions. For the moment writing seems almost contrived. The flow appears disrupted BUT is necessary. Entirely. So many, many, many, maaannnnyyyyyy what ifs and revelations and then….nothing. The simplicity and ease expose themselves as scary…alarmingly frightening, YET something I can’t quite express….I think something like exciting and inspiring (!!!). Even the attempted descriptions fall short of comprehendible comprehension, to me OR to any of you [apologies]. The hair is a strain of softness, appetite raging on and ON [3 am ISH], motivation budding. And that fear. Those damn fears. They always present themselves in the most surprising circumstances. Sting rays? Sure. You…and this? Certainly. You AND sting rays? Oh hell. It took some time for me to see. Late blooming, niave gestures….delayed understandings perhaps. And now? Ain’t nothin’ gonna break ma stride. Minus me mo MY. As always, the toughest critic known to Em. But oh, how the ch Ch CHanges do….well, change this status quo. My life, my heart, this moment and that. Brilliant, really. This security acts as a reassuring type of new comfort. Game ON….but then again, fuck games. The reality is oh so much better….and….real. You’ve got the light and me....I’ve got the key.

Love and thoughts to Japan.